2020 Vision

I’ve never understood the idea of pairing a holiday where everyone tries to get serious about goal-setting with one where you celebrate by getting smashed. It seems like waking up with a hangover would be a pretty crummy way to start off a new year.

I didn’t stay up to ring it in, because I had work this morning. The vet’s office wasn’t open, but we still have dogs and cats boarding with  us, so I helped take care of them for a few hours. It was the quietest morning I’ve ever seen. Driving to work at 6:30AM on New Year’s Day, the sun not yet risen, blasting Les Miserables with only a handful of other cars on the road, it felt a little bit like I’d entered a liminal space.

The trend for the end of 2019 was to look at how your life has changed in the last decade. Initially I wasn’t sure how useful an exercise that would be for me. I was 14 in 2010—of course I’ve changed. And yes, a lot has happened to me that I never could have imagined at 14. Moving continents, visiting different countries, getting the job I now have, living where I now do, and on and on.

A few years ago, I started writing letters to myself at the beginning of the year, not to be reread until December 31st. Mostly, I describe how my life is at that moment, which shows how starkly things may have changed since the last letter. 

2019’s letter is fairly hopeful, but looking back on it now, I remember having a very hard winter. I was far away from any family members, and I was the coldest I had ever been. I slept on a couch or in a dining room for months. I spent Christmas by myself. I didn’t have a car. I had two jobs and was constantly worried that I wouldn’t be able to make enough money to make ends meet. I have a distinct memory of standing outside in the snow at 10pm, listening to the Spiderman: Into the Spiderverse soundtrack and crying because it was the third day in a row I’d started one job at 7AM and ended the second at 9:30pm and it was freezing and I was exhausted. It was a rough winter.

Ain’t like that now, though! In the past year, I:

• Got a car
• Downsized to just one job
• Moved and got a whole half of a bedroom with a bed
• Learned to budget and got a month ahead on all bills (much less stressful!)
• Accepted a new position in my company and got a raise

The Spiderman: Into the Spiderverse soundtrack is still pretty great, though. That’s one thing that will never change.

Of course, nothing will ever be perfect. There are still things in my life that could change for the better, and that’s the purpose of intention-setting for the new year. I’m going to do what I can to make them happen, and hopefully by the end of 2020, I’ll be able to look back and see all my progress.